Grief Recovery for Women
This special day, “Mother’s Day” can be a time of grief and mourning as well as a time of celebration. Grief can take many forms – for those among us who have lost their mothers as well as for those who don’t feel mothered or nurtured by their mothers who are still alive.
To acknowledge ALL about that special unique relationship between oneself and one’s mother – the good, the bad, the indescribable and complexity of thoughts, feelings, history… that is the challenge especially when a false sweetness can prevail in our culture. Perhaps we who have lost our mothers may want to honor a cherished memory that arises. It may be a moment that expresses the gratitude we feel towards that person or a memory that represents the essence of that person and even reflect the ambiguous nature of that complex relationship.
This Mother’s Day can also be a time to acknowledge what we received from those other mothering figures who may not have been our birth mothers but their nurturing and care may have had far greater impact then our own.
So, Mother YOurself on Mother’s
Day! Be kind and true to your feelings whatever they are … To all the motherless inner children who may have deep longing for mothers.. to all the adults in us having the wisdom to see things exactly as they are …I send you blessings to celebrate or mourn or just Be with what is TRUE for you.
Marlena Kushner, MFT
Women’s Therapy Services
It is hard to be prepared for the amount of grief that can happen when you lose your beloved pet. Our pets are our daily companions and often the first to greet us when we come home. The mutual love and affection we exchange with our beloved animals feed and nurture us. To lose that source of love can feel devastating! It doesn’t matter if the circumstances are sudden from an accident or acute illness, or if it’s after a long-term disease where you thought you were prepared for the inevitable death.
It can feel terrible if you share your grief with someone who doesn’t understand. Anyone who insensitively may say ” oh, it’s just an animal, not a human” – just doesn’t GET IT…. The grief is REAL and UNDERSTANDABLE…It’s often best to get support from others who know the love and joy of having a pet…or maybe even see the knowing, compassionate eyes of someone who also lived through the death of a pet and came out the other side.
Marlena Kushner, MFT
Women’s Therapy Services
What do women do when hardship/tragedy happens? We connect. Of course we may isolate and get depressed, but usually, as women, we have the advantage of being more open to accessing our feelings and talking to others about our sorrow and fear. We do this with friends, family members, other women, and partners. And now we are doing it online! I recently ran across a blog site called blogher.com. The page I was drawn to is titled “Women moving through grief, inspiring as they go”. There, Mata H. describes the grief and loss she sees all around—saying that it’s hard to find anyone (especially in their 50′s) who hasn’t been dealing with something really difficult directly or indirectly, say, the loss of a child, elderly ill parents, a friend or family member dealing with cancer. We are all subject to challenges and problems going on in the world around us, and no one is immune, from children to octogenarians. Even in “good times” when there is less stress, we must all cope with the uncertainty of life’s ups and downs, such as the threat of war, financial crisis, global warming, and disease.
Grief or bereavement is a natural part of the process of recovering from loss, whether it be a tangible loss, like death, or a less tangible loss, like loss of trust or faith in someone or something. Traumatic experiences bring complex grief, because there is a general loss of security and safety at the time of the trauma.
It is better to feel grief than to shut down and push those feelings away. And, this may need to happen very slowly and carefully depending on the depth of the loss.
To read more go to women-and-grief recovery.com
Phyllis Klein, LCSW