Depression Care for Women
The first step to healing co-dependent behavior is being able to recognize it. This can be confusing as there is a healthy aspect of relationships where we are mutually dependent on each other. We naturally want to express our love and help people we care about. The unhealthy aspect of co-dependency is when the caring or expression is at your own expense- where you consistently think of yourself last and don’t consider your own needs…Sometimes you can be so used to doing it that you don’t even know you are left out. You won’t know until you find yourself burnt out, unhappy, angry or resentful. The behavior can have a compulsive quality to it – it is just what you do…
For example, someone asks you out to dinner because they want to connect with you. Without even thinking if it works for you or not, you just say ‘Yes’. You may not realize till later that you were really too tired to enjoy it and another nite may have worked out better. That is the compulsivity always thinking of the other without stopping to consider yourself.
At other times, there may be a controlling aspect to it. You may unconsciously do it – be overly helpful, knowing or directing – to keep things in control. You don’t trust that if you don’t do it, things may get out of control or it will not be done right. But this way of being in the world can lead to feeling exhausted and under-appreciated. You may wonder why people don’t take care of you in the same way you take care of them. This is how resentment can get stored and create a general feeling of deprivation and unhappiness. Basically co-dependency can take the joy out of giving. It is possible to change! It is possible to have more choices and to consider yourself when interacting with others. Recognizing how each one of us contributes to creating the problem is the first step toward recovery….
Marlena Kushner, MFT
Women’s Therapy Services
Do you feel depressed? Do painful memories of the past intrude and persist? Do negative beliefs about yourself echo inside your head? Is it hard to move on to a fresh and positive perspective?
EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) was developed as a tool for treating trauma. With all kinds of post-traumatic stress disorders (that can happen in catastrophic events, accidents, physical, emotional or sexual abuse), it has proven to be especially effective. But it can also be applied to reprocessing those life events that reinforce negative beliefs about ourselves and the world.
Beliefs like: ” I am powerless”, “The world isn’t safe”. ” I always get hurt in relationship” “My body is ugly”… endless statements we can tell ourselves that just perpetuate that old stuck, trapped way of thinking and being in the world.
EMDR has a way of working with the painful feelings that get lodged in our bodies, the images that go along with that and the thoughts that we can obsess about…. to process it to a new more objective and positive reality. It can be used to build on strengths and good feelings. It can help break old destructive, addictive patterns of behavoir. EMDR is a powerful tool that when used by an experienced professional in the context of a safe therapeutic relationship at the right time can have tremendous healing effects.
Marlena Kushner, M.A., M.F.T.
Certified EMDR Therapist
Women’s Therapy Services
At Women’s Therapy Services we see many young adult women who have left home for the first time. This time of transition is very important in getting “launched” into adult life. Going through changes like leaving home, moving, starting a new job, can sometimes bring on depression. There are so many adjustments to be made and changes, even good ones can be stressful and anxiety producing. The losses involved in letting go of the security of family, home, old friends can bring up depression, feelings of insecurity, and fear of the future. Signs of depression could include problems with eating and sleeping, either too much or too little, difficulty concentrating, low mood, crying, and irritability. Sometimes these thoughts and feeling pass on their own and sometimes getting help is very useful.
San Francisco is a place many young people come when they are getting started in adult life on their own. The costs for living expenses are so high that many young women find themselves in roommate situations, or if they can afford it, have small studio apartments. Some people take the opportunity to try living with their significant other. In any situation, life after leaving your parent’s home will have joys and challenges.
To read more go to leaving-home.com
Phyllis Klein, LCSW
How does post-partum depression happen and why? This kind of depression is similar to other forms of depression, except it happens after giving birth. It is not totally clear why some women develop PPD (as it is called) while other women may have the “baby blues” (a normal affliction including mood swings, crying jags, mild depression/ sleep problems/loss of appetite) and others have no symptoms of depression at all. As with any form of depression, if you have had it in the past you may be more likely to develop it during or after your pregnancy. If you had PPD with a previous pregnancy that will also increase your risk. Other risks include: significant stresses in the past year, marital conflict, insufficient support system, or unplanned pregnancy.
Some of the symptoms of PPD include loss of appetite, insomnia, intense anger or irritability, overwhelming fatigue, feelings of guilt, shame, or inadequacy, mood swings, difficulty bonding with your baby, withdrawl from family and friends, and thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. This is a long and scary list! The main thing to remember is that getting information as in reading this post or other information online, and getting early treatment are very helpful and important. And since isolation is a hallmark of depression, finding ways to reach out are extremely helpful.
To read more go to post-partum-depression.com
Phyllis Klein, LCSW